Hoppy's Bag

Updated:
28 / Nov / 1999

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his is Hoppy's Bag! We have nothing to declare. Here you'll find all sorts of gubbins on everything. Our aim is to amuse, not offend.

    We offer you something that many other humour sites on the 'net don't: Actual humour. Funny stuff. Hoppy's Bag is one of the few sites on the net that will actually make you laugh. (this is not a guarantee.)

    But we can't do it alone. We've written a lot of Hoppy's Bag, but we get terrible writers block and sometimes have to go for a lie down. Please submit things to us, we really need them! Go to the Submit section to find out more.

    FEATURED PAGES:

28 / Nov /99 - Name our Walrus- We search for a name for our Walrus.

17/Aug/99 - Walrus Feeding - Feed our Walrus!

NOTICES:
Merry Chistmas. Yo ho ho ho ho. It's time for a big fat bloke with a sack to come down your chimney. Aren't you lucky?

A 'Quote'

A JUNCTURE
And so life goes on. At this juncture I would like to take the privilege of informing you, although I'm sure I hardly need bother, of the content in each section of Hoppy's Bag. Aha. A little 'I've held a meeting and am trying to talk to people more aristocratic than me' speak, there. Anyway, Here We Go:

The Sections of The Bag

Home : I'm pretty confident that I don't need to explain thisconcept to anyone. Watch E.T. if you don't understand...... E.T. is a film, by the way....... You can see it at your friend's house.... Don't try to work the VCR yourself.

Info : If you're average, you probably won't click this, saying to yourself something along the lines of 'Pah, I don't need to know any of that garbage!'. It may be worth a try.

Submit : Click this to send us anything you've found or created in your own warm and fuzzy nut (I mean your head, by the way...).

Questions : For queries on Life, The Universe and Everything. Go here to answer peoples vague cries for knowledge. Submit your own.

Comments : We like to put all the comments and abuse we receive on one big page for everyone to read. Submit some as well, though...

Web Beer : A fine beverage, brewed with Excelence, a Touch of Class and even Pride. Has been described as 'a light and airy ale'. Try some to find out why.

Walrus Feeding : Hooray for Hoppy's Bag, always at the forefront when it comes to leading the way in the latest technological advancements. Feed our walrus, he's getting thin.

The Petition : Our petition is random and therefore a joy to be beheld... honest.

Filosofy : A Hoppy's Bag word meaning warped, twisted philosophy which is, nevertheless¹, perfectly accurate. There's a lot to get through in one of these Filosofies, so read them during a big download or something (there, a Handy Hint to save you Time. Ooh.)

Barblegash : Another Hoppy's Bag word, but only because the designers of English blatantly failed to

recognise the needs of the proficient web-site author. The word we got when we first took English out of the bubble-wrap was 'Stuff'. This word is a crap word and will burn in Hell. Ha Ha Ha good ridance etc. So we made up our own. It means anything. In this section you'll find rants, poetry, stories, jokes etc.

Bible Of The Bag : This mighty tome tells of how Ye Great Bag came into being. 'nuff said.

Mirrors : Find Hoppy's Bag in a country near you. These are not translations, as I fear a great deal would be lost if we just crammed it all up the back end of AltaVista's translation service...

The Humour Ring

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¹Surely this word was created from the three words 'never the less' to make it quicker to write. If they were going to shorten it why didn't they do a decent job? Somebody's been slacking off again. It's always the same: 'Oh, to Hell with it, let's just take out the spaces, no-one will notice!!!...'. 'Another' is another one.

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